M.O.T.Y.

I had an experience today that reminded me of why I will NEVER be Mother of the Year. Nothing profound, mind you...just a typical day in my life. I will preface it by saying that I hate school photos. I think they look cheesy and boring and every time they come up, I think of all the reasons why I do not want to succumb to the pressure of ordering them. However, every time I still order them. Something inside me says that to be a good mother, you have to order school pictures...like my kid would be the only one in the class without the $90 check in the envelope while every other has the top of the line package marked on their envelopes. (I only imagine this but don't really have any idea what other mom's order) I don't think it's the money that bothers me because generally speaking, I am not a cheap person. I hate scrap booking and I don't have one of those frames that contains the mat with cutouts of each grade's picture. These pictures are stashed in a rubbermaid container that I will someday organize. I would just rather have a beautiful photo than a school photo. In the end, I always mark the cheapest package just to satisfy my own ego or my child's or both.

For a week, I have known that Fisher's preschool is taking their SECOND picture set of the year....BUGS!!! Anyway, he was supposed to wear his purple preschool t-shirt so they all look the same. He only wears this shirt when it is mandatory which means it has been worn maybe 3 times. The teacher kept reminding us to have our freshly laundered t-shirts ready for picture day:) Preschool starts at 9 a.m. and we live right around the corner from the building. I am not typically one to procrastinate things. At 8:55, I went to get Fisher's preschool shirt from his drawer. I found it crumpled in a ball in his drawer and got a little worried. I thought I'd be a good mom and iron it so that he would be in top form for this ever-so-important photo.

First, I noticed that it was covered with dried food...sauces, etc. I got a wash cloth to erase all of these since there was NO time to launder it. Next, I ran the iron across it forgetting that the print on the front is not meant for high heat so the iron dragged the white lines of the graphics across his shirt...permanently ruined! After picking up the iron, I noticed a stench coming from the shirt. I thought it must be the burning smell of graphics but oddly enough, it smelled like urine. After being disgusted, I remembered when Fisher wore this shirt last....a few weeks ago to a PETTING ZOO! It had food, goat, pony, deer, pig and chicken smell and whatever else he hugged all over it and to top that off, he had an accident in the bathroom that left urine on his shorts and the bottom of his shirt (too anxious to get the pants all the way down.) I burst out into laughter because could a shirt really have anything worse or more smelly on it? Maybe dried blood or something.

In the end, I had no recourse but to spray Kevin's cologne on it and send him to preschool for the coveted school photos that will sit under my bed in a rubbermaid container.